Helping Our Sons and Daughters Be Successful in College

Parents whose sons and daughters recently went off to college want their children to stay in college. Many of us hope and believe that what is inherently desirable about the college experience will be sufficient motivation for our children to do what is needed to successfully negotiate the demands of higher education. And yet, in the United States, more students drop out of college than graduate! Equally shocking is the fact that 6 out of every 10 jobs require a postsecondary education. What causes so many students to be unable to sustain effort over time and leave college without graduating?

Graduation rates at public or state four-year colleges and universities remain at only about 40 percent of entering students. Private colleges and universities fare only slightly better: 57 percent of their freshmen go on to graduate. Two-year public colleges, or community colleges, have the worst record, graduating fewer than 30 percent of their students. Sadly, these statistics have been fairly stable over the past three decades, even though more people than ever before now attend college.

If we want to help our sons and daughters to maximize the chances for success in college, there are a number of things that psychologists, e.g., Raley (2007) have uncovered that can tip the balance in favor of successfully completing college.

For Students:

1. Research the college and visit prospective colleges; attend open houses; ask questions.
2. Assess yourself: Are you ready to put the time, money and effort into getting a degree?
3. Attend a college preparatory program in high school if one is available. Participate in summer programs and take basic skills courses. Ask for a summer reading list. Register and plan your schedule early. Attend student orientations.
4. Do not limit your options: Most students change their major at least once, and any degree trumps none at all.
5. When a problem crops up, do not be shy. Seek out college services such as psychological counseling, career guidance, faculty mentoring or tutoring.

For Parents:

1. Research the college with your son or daughter.
2. Provide emotional and social support, regardless of your child’s choice of major or career. Set goals for your child and provide financial incentives if that will help.
3. Help your son or daughter prepare. Encourage participation in summer programs and orientation sessions.
4. Stay informed and in touch: Is your son or daughter involved in student activities? Has he or she made friends? What are his or her grades?

While in High School, encourage your high school senior to take advanced placement courses to give them an idea of the academic challenges they will face when they enter college. Important skills in college are the ability to analyze literature, and the ability to take effective notes utilizing advanced skills in saliency determination. Also important is the ability to support one’s opinions. When these skills are well developed, the student has a far better chance of successfully completing college. When they are not well developed, high school students should be encouraged to attend a summer program or take remedial courses that focus on these skills. All college freshmen would be wise to take a study skills course if their school offers one. Such courses can help students manage their time and take effective notes. Teaching saliency determination will help the student focus upon the most important content of a lecture or textbook, a skill that will help them survive the next four years.

Lastly, ties to the home and family remain important, even as students try to move on. Parents should stay involved with their children and ask them about their grades, friendships, activities and overall happiness. Whenever practical, parents should visit their son or daughter at college, and do whatever is needed to help make school feel more like home.

Raley, Yvonne (2007) Scientific American Mind, Vol. 18, No. 4

August 2007

Your children should recognize that doing their homework well will result in positive long-term gains. In contrast, not doing their homework, or doing it with minimal effort, will result in long term negative consequences. But providing short-term positive and negative consequences in the form of attention and praise for homework well done, and the absence of this for homework not done or poorly done, will help. You also might think about some ideas I’ve listed below:

1. Each week, have your children assess their own homework completion by reviewing returned papers, tests and quizzes, and current grades. With your children, note their progress, improvements, areas of need, and jointly plan how to solve any problems.
2. Display well-done work in a prominent place, such as on the refrigerator door.
3. With their help, graph your children’s grades. Include the grades for each class, the average grade for all classes, and an agreed upon target line. The target line should be the grades that you and your children agree are reasonable and obtainable (if your child is now receiving D’s, a reasonable goal is grades of C: to first set the goal at A’s will lead to frustration). Discuss the graph with your children, help your children identify any patterns of poor performance, and jointly develop a plan to turn things around.
4. Teach your children to bring all necessary materials home. If your children get in the habit of “forgetting” homework materials, have them spend time on reading or working on other academic activities during the agreed upon study time. Your children could also walk back to school to pick up forgotten materials, or be charged “gas money” out of their allowance for being driven back to school. Alternately, set up a system that rewards them for bringing everything home.
5. Sometimes children “lose” completed homework in their books or backpack. Placing all completed homework in one folder in the backpack can solve this problem.
6. If a child does not complete homework, reduce the freedom the child has until grades improve and the teacher indicates that the problem is solved. Methods of reducing freedom might be (a) giving your child less control about where and when homework is completed, (b) parents checking the quality of completed homework every evening, (c) parents and teachers maintaining ongoing communication in the assignment book, or (d) the child not being able to participate in a planned activity such as a field trip.
7. Reward your child for good grades and for improving grades. Your child’s preferences should be considered in deciding upon the reward, but the rewards need not be expensive. Going out together for an ice cream cone, or telephoning a grandparent to tell them of the child’s success, are examples of inexpensive but effective rewards.
8. Provide support and genuine praise for homework completion and good study habits.

11/04

Think of homework as I like to define work, i.e., doing something we really would rather not do. But you can make it more positive for your child. I’ve listed 15 ideas below:

1. Provide support and praise for homework completion.
2. Be available to provide non-critical assistance.
3. Give children a choice in when, where, and how they complete homework assignments.
4. Encourage your children to complete homework well enough that they have a sense of control over their own learning and levels of competence.
5. Maintain a positive and helpful attitude: avoid criticism and anger.
6. Help children understand what types of homework they enjoy and encourage them to choose assignments accordingly. Some prefer written reports, others prefer hands-on projects.
7. Use homework preferences in developing a homework schedule. Some children prefer to get disliked homework done first, while others prefer to do their easier work first.
8. When a child dislikes subject, find ways to make it less frustrating. For example, set a goal of doing five math problems and then taking a break.
9. Encourage your children to participate in study groups with friends. Research shows that children who form study groups achieve at a much higher level than children who always study alone.
10. Encourage your child to have fun such as eating a snack, calling friends, starting an activity, or watching a favorite show when homework is finished.
11. Never use homework as a punishment.
12. Be a good listener, and encourage your child to ask questions about things that are hard to understand.
13. Set aside time for your children to share with you the skills and information they are acquiring.
14. Help children study for tests by quizzing them on the material in a friendly manner.
15. Remember how you felt about homework when you were in school. Try to be the support that maybe you did not receive.

08/04